Want.

Real friends

are the ones that keep you liquored up at a party and yell at you to "MAKE BAD DECISIONS TONIGHT!"

Bow down, plebs.

"Many of the absolute best beauty products I’ve found come from regular French pharmacies. I always stock up on these items when I’m in France or ask friends to bring some back when they’re passing through."

This was posted on my friend's email status. I took one look at it and guessed that it was Gwyneth Paltrow. I was right. Clearly I get her and we are meant to be BFFs slash I would be the perfect personal assistant. I also can't believe I wasn't subscribed to her weekly GOOP newsletter. From now on, expect more pearls of wisdom from this beautifully oblivious, privileged, flawless vegan fat-free ectomorph goddess.

Lessons from Blue Valentine.

1) True love does not exist.

2) Never get married.

3) If Dean and Cindy can't make it work, there is no hope for the rest of us.

4) I am glad my parents are still together. I still don't want to end up like them. Refer back to #2.

The Story of Strasbourg.

The summer before we all moved in, D had a dream that he had been responsible for house hunting and the closest place he could find was in Strasbourg --yes, Strasbourg in France --and we were all mad at him because we'd have to commute by plane everyday, and his mum was mad about the expenses.

The first time we set up our wireless network D (who is a linguistics major) fucked up the spelling and so for a year we were "strassbourg." It's fixed now.

When I was in Tours this summer I was browsing an old bookstore that had these pamphlets from the 50s on different regions, and I opened one on 'Alsace-Lorraine' and inside was a page on Strasbourg. I bought it, of course. It's stuck on the fridge.

Anyway the name has stuck in a pretty cool way not only amongst us but all our friends and acquaintances who visit, and we get called "Strasburgers" as a group and besides being a food item that totally needs to be invented, I like to think we will become the stuff of legends on Ross Street like some underground urban hip artist circle, except instead of throwing notorious dance and trance parties and doing sex and drugs off our creaky kitchen table we'll be known for our four star dinners and midnight baking sessions and bongo drumming and overheated living room and ridiculous milk consumption and spotless bathrooms...we'll be known for being Anti-Students which I am okay with because it means I can go be a hot mess at other people's parties and leave and not deal with cleaning up hungover the next morning where I will wake up to the smell of pancakes and whiskey syrup that D has made for everyone.

K: "This music is too cool for us."

Get it right pt. 2

There are some things I would like to clear up for my roommates.

I do not have a secret boyfriend.

I did not break my bed having sex.

I am not an international terrorist.

My high school friends do exist. Really.