Project Old Hollywood: Singin' in the Rain

Having blazed through season 4 of Ugly Betty in 3 days and now catching up on House episodes, the couch potato in me wants to work my way through old Hollywood as well because, to borrow a cliche, they don't make 'em like that anymore. Besides, it's classy.

My housemate Emma and I finished "Singin' in the Rain" (1952) last night and adored it. Here's why:

1) The dancing. You know how people say how much fun life would be as a musical? Unfortunately musicals like this...

...would only make life an endless cycle of embarrassment. Now if my life was an extended tap dance sequence, that I would be more than happy with.

Wikifact: Debbie Reynolds' feet were bleeding after filming this sequence. She had no previous training in dance but had a gymnast background. Also, Gene Kelly insulted her lack of dance experience and was a dick to her in general. Fred Astaire found her crying under a piano and volunteered to teach her how to move like pro.

Gene: -10 for being a dick

Fred: +15 for being a gentleman

Debbie: +20 for sticking it to the bully

Speaking of points, the one who wins the most in my opinion is

2) Donald O'Connor. Yes yes, I know Gene Kelly is a total dreamboat...but see above for the jerk factor. Also, did you know he wore a toupee? That's a wig for those of you who don't know French. Not so dreamy now eh? Eh?

But back to the actual movie...O'Connor plays funny man Cosmo Brown, who totally stole my heart as the often neglected but much more intelligent and less douchey sidekick of film star Don Lockwood (Gene Kelly). As lovely as the eponymous song is with the lamppost and umbrella and a sexy drenched douchebag (har-har), Gene just doesn't.... make you laugh. Watch and learn buddy:

Donald O'Connor: +100 for pioneering Lady Gaga's piano quirks and running up the wall like a ninja

3) The metafilmajigness. In addition to being a delightful movie musical, "Singin' in the Rain" is also a really interesting and hilarious look at a seminal period in the history of film: the decline of silent movies and birth of talking pictures, or "talkies." This transition is nicely framed in the context of the successful The Jazz Singer (1927), the first ever motion picture that featured synchronised dialogue sequences (and a film worth watching in itself). In the face of this new technology and competition, John Lockwood and his unfortunately tinny co-star Lina Lamont (played by the beautiful Jean Hagen) try to follow suit in The Dueling Cavalier, a film-within-the-film that comically reveals all the problems of synchronising sound and image (see link since YouTube is a bitch and won't let me embed).

Up for more meta-trickery? Okay, so in the film Lina Lamont's voice is so terrible when it comes to making The Dueling Cavalier that Kathy Selden (Debbie Reynolds) has to dub all her lines and songs. In actuality however, they simply used Hagen's normal voice and Reynolds herself was dubbed for two of her songs. Gotta love it when Hollywood mindfucks with you like that.

At the risk of giving you some second-hand embarrassment, I leave you with this to rest my case that "Singin' in the Rain" is too cool for even Usher to emulate. Good job bro, but it just aint the same without a toupee.

I got mad skills from my mama.

Heard it through the grapevine today that the boy I spent the entire first term crushing on is gay.

Highlight of my day.

party chronicles

i.

the second time in my life I had a whole cigarette

we had our longest conversation yet

you said since when did you smoke then

sat by me and waxed drunken lyrical about

sexual experimentation in high school

girls racing to kiss the boys at prom

I listened and kept forgetting

to turn my head to exhale

(sorry about that)

when we went indoors you told me

to take a final drag on the staircase

then stubbed what was left

on the sole of your sneaker

told me to save it for later

I said that was real classy and pocketed it

then I watched you and ross down

two tequilas

feeling accomplished guilty and wistful

ii.

when I was all over you saying

you’re a cool guy

what I really meant was

fuck you

iii.

there you were waving

two slices of pizza in my face

(they were put together like a sandwich)

insisting I take a bite

I ferociously declined

on the grounds that they would

be crusty cold but you promised

so earnestly that they were warm

that before I knew it

my teeth had sunk themselves

into cheese and pepperoni and

god were you right

god

bless you for being an honest man

iv.

you ran like a bat out of hell

yelling I’m going to climb that tree

next thing I know you’re up in that damn tree

Dear GPA:

How do you expect me to work on days like this?

My first Passover. I learnt many new words, dishes, and songs. I can now say to D I am more legit Jewish than he is Asian. He also provided drunken commentary when we decided to watch The Prince of Egypt.

The meaning behind the orange (which is not traditionally on the Seder plate) is this: according to D and S our Jewish hosts, some bigot once said "A woman rabbi is as out of place as an orange on a Seder plate." So their family decided to put an orange on their Seder plate.